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Den Roux

Indefinite


A measure of hard time is bearable as long as it is a measure of time. What makes it bearable is you know when it all will end.

Not knowing. Indefinite. That is not bearable. It eats you like a word that is snickered behind your back by everyone but no one will tell you what it means. In life you need answers. If you have none you can disassociate. Limit sensory input and form a friction-less routine. Days will bleed into one another, their average emotion being absolutely nothing. Memories are delicate, like a mandala, when you dissociate you run your hand across it's face and the delicate multi-colored memories become mute brown blotch that can be easily forgotten. You can not do this often. The more times you do it the more times your memories themselves will become blotches and you will lose the fine intricacy of life.

Not knowing is not good for mental health. If you have a question, find the answer. If you have no end in sight, don't keep sitting, get up and walk until you see it.

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