Lets set the record strait. I’m here because I want to be here, not because you tagged and bagged me.
I’m here because I think that, although I’m most likely I’m just full of shit, I can help you. Today, people are unhappy. It seems like everyone one day just got hella down in the dumps. You might not like my diagnosis but I think I need to talk to you about the symptoms, or at how I see it.
I fly above you on the golden shore and hear your emitted soul sound and it is minor. Mope, Mope, Mope. Wishing you have a genuine personal connection all the while shunning any line that I drop you way. People say we had a good connection, or we had a good connection, well who the fuck do you think made that fucking connection? Love is not some thing that just happens, I make it happen. And not by some fucking arrow and tiny set of wings, but by patience, hard work, faith that you guys wont fuck it up, a fishing line, a reel, and a hook. Ever wonder why having a crush on someone is like having a hook in your brain that always draws your thoughts to them, well, that’s because it’s exactly that, a hook. Operated by me.
You guys are making my job so fucking hard. Whats is up with you? My job used to be easy, but now? Fuck you. It is harder than a chihuahua’s dick after eating clean through a box of Viagra. Falling in love used to be a matter of logistics. You find two small towns: one with a brown-eyed boy, the other with a blue-eyed girl. You listen. Yup, they their souls sing in the same key. You cast, hook them, drag them towards each other, disguise it as coincidence, then BAM. You got love. That is now easy it once was. I think people were okay with the fact that they were falling in love.
These days people don’t like to do much of anything unless the outcome is assured and insured, let alone fall in love.
It is because people these days are so fucking lazy. The logistics are near impossible. People today would not know true love if it stared them in the face. Laziness and technology takes the idea of falling in love makes it look primitive. Why fall in love when you can swipe right. Like fuck you man. I am defiantly not working for some archaic and evolutionary unnecessary symptom of chemicals in brains and neutrons firing at each other. I am not working for the candy companies that try to outsource my skills to pieces of paper or horrible chalk flavored heart shaped candies of pink and white. I am not working for textile companies to sell more nylons. My name is Cupid and I am working for you.