The door to my apartment does not like to lock. There are some things that I am good with and there are some things that I am not so great with. What you ask? I will answer that soon enough. But back to the door.
It is a testy bit of heavy metal. A large metal frame around a checkerboard of metal and glass. It’s purpose is to keep unwanted beings out of my departments, but recently, it has a hard time with that.
If you close it like a regular human being the metal bolt that is the prime statesman of the door’s lock does not quite sick the landing. You walk away and think twice and check if the door is indeed locked and be very glad that you did. I think it is lazy, or maybe it knows something that I do not know? Whatever the cause the lock is always playing tricks. Sometimes it closes, sometimes it does not. I have two hypotheses. One, it is the humidity. The other, that the door hates the fact that it is a door and retaliates like a renegade bureaucrat. Maybe with a little analysis we can find out why this door acts the way it does.
The door and I have gone through so much together. And, I can say with pride, that I have never been neglectful. If there is one thing that I pad my CV with it is the fact that I have never forgotten my keys and I treat the door well when it comes to inserting said keys. I always slip it in just right. True, I have given the keys to others, but they are people I trust, never someone who would stumble home drunk and scratch around the keyhole. I have a doorbell so no one ever knocks. Windex and soft felt are applied to your gilded surface every fortnight. I have never kicked you out of frustration or placed a bucket of water on your head in hopes of fucking over someones day with a prank. I have been a faithful servant to you as you have been to me. But, now, you have been, well......a door. Why? Why do you open after I shut you closed, Door? Is it Lock? Are you guys going through a rough patch?
Wondering only get’s you so far. There comes a point when you have to stop talking to your door like it is capable of human need and emotion. There comes a point when you have to look inward. An easy was of looking inward is looking into your past. Start with something your not so great with. Mine?
I have always slammed my doors. Thinking of the next step is a problem of mine and once a step is halfway through completion my mind is over it and on the next one. This causes me to slam doors. With my back turned I swing it shut and by the time it slams closed I am already naked in the bathroom halfway through drawing a bath. I don’t remember slamming this one, but due to my past I probably have, many times. I have been very unkind to my door in this way and now I have broken it. It is all my fault. It’s not a problem with Door and Lock's love life. It’s a problem with me. I need to slow down. I need to be kinder to my all my objects but, if you should be kind to any one object you should be kind to your front door.